Johnny Cash

One of the best videos EVER!

Control

It's been a while since I've posted. It's been really busy and I just haven't had the time.

I'm really annoyed now so I feel the need to vent. Money is not everything. When people feel that money is more important than someone's feelings or a person in general, is just wrong. I just seem to loose respect for them and look at them in like "Are you serious"? look. I'm not dumb and I'm not an idiot. Not everyone knows everything there is in life. When someone has to insult someone because they are not like them is wrong. Not everyone is the same. I'm a good person and I don't just lash out to people. I just hold it in and ignore everything. I'm not about to insult someone or belittle someone to make myself feel better. I don't hate people. I just decide if that person is going to make me a better person or a worse person. I weight the odds and whatever makes me better I go with that.

Why do people feel the need to control other people? You are not them. Stop making decisions for them. I don't tell someone what to wear, what to buy, what to say. I'm not going to be a puppet and do what every one else does. It's not me. I'm not going to act a certain way because that's what's expected. If I don't have anything to say I say nothing at all. If I don't feel a certain way I don't say I feel it.

Well, I'm done. I think I'll go make dinner and clean. :)

Merry Christmas everyone!

Pacific coast

So, we set a moving date. As of now it's official...

April 4th of 2009 we are heading out west to the great city of Malibu in the wonderful state of Californ-i-a. Wow. Then who knows from there. Getting settled in by getting some jobs and then hopefully setting a future!! Finally.

Words of Wisdom...

Artist(Band): Baz Luhrmann

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97. Wear sunscreen.
If I could offer you one tip for the future, sunscreen
would be it. The
long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by
scientists whereas the
rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my
own meandering
experience... I will dispense this advice now

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh,
nevermind, you will not
understand the power and beauty of your youth until
they've faded. But trust
me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself
and recall in a way
you can't grasp now, how much possibility lay before
you and how fabulous
you really looked. You are NOT as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future; or worry, but know that
worrying is as
effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by
chewing bubblegum. The
real toubles in life are apt to be things that never
crossed your worried
mind; the kind the blindside you at 4pm on some idle
Tuesday

Do one thing everyday that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other peoples hearts. Don't
put up with people who
are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you're
ahead, sometimes you're
behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with
yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the
insults. If you suceed in doing
this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank
statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do
with your life.
the most interesting people I know didn't know at 22
what they wanted to do
with their lives, some of the most ineresting 40 year
olds I know still
don't.

Get plenty of calcium.

Be kind to your knees, you'll miss them when they're
gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll
have children, maybe you
won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40. Maybe you'll dance
the funky chicken on
your 75th wedding anniversary.... Whatever you do,
don't congratulate
yourself too much or berate yourself either - your
choices are half chance,
so are everybody else's

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can... don't be
afraid of it, or what
other people think of it... it's the greatest instrument
you'll ever own.

Dance... even if you have nowhere else to do it but in
your own living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do NOT read beauty magazines they will only make
you feel UGLY.


Get to know your parents, you never know when they
might be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; They're your best link to your
past, and the
people most likely to stick with you in the future

Understand that friends come and go, except for the
precious few you should
hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography
and lifestyle because the
older you get, the more you need the people you knew
when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes
you hard. Live in
Northern California once, but, leave before it makes
you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths. Prices will rise,
Politicians will
philander, you too will get old. And when you do, you'll
fantasize that when
you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians
were noble, and children
respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe
you'll have a trust fund,
maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse; but you never
know when either one might
run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're
40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with
those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of
fishing the past
from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly
parts, and
recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me on the sunscreen.

On a roll

I have a lot to talk about because today is just not the day.

Seriously, why do people feel the need to like walk all over me and give me shit? If something doesn't work out just try it again, right? What's the need to say some kind of sarcastic remark. It pisses me off. Not like they care I'm sure but still. I'm one that will cry for all kinds of emotions, happy, sad, pissed off, mad, funny, etc. But mad, wow. When I'm extremely mad I will cry because then by crying I know I can only go so far, so I'm on the defense so I don't say or do anything that will get me in to trouble. But some people can be serious bitches. It's so godly annoying. I'd like to go to work without trouble. I'm there to work. WHO GIVES A FUCKING SHIT WHAT I DO!!!???? If It's not hurting anyone who the fuck cares. Seriously. I'm not down their throat saying their doing this wrong blah blah blah. It's like dude, whatever. I'm just there to get paid thats it. So shut the fuck up.

Can I meet one person who somewhat has money who isn't a snotty stuck up bitch? There is more to life than feeling like your the hottest awesomest piece of shit on earth. Most likely your not. Who cares what someone wears to a party? As long as they show up. Sometimes if people feel the need to tell me what I should and should not wear I'd rather NOT go. Because people will just judge and pick you apart anyway. I don't get people. They hurt someone close to them and don't even notice. I've been staying my distance with a lot of people. Mainly because I just don't want to deal with shit anymore. My goal is to get the fuck out of certain individuals lives as soon as I can!!

All those who aren't involved in my rant. I love you!!!!

Wine

Ok, I used to say no to someone who offered me wine before. But for some reason lately I have been like craving it. So I had a glass when we went out to dinner the other night and I REALLY liked it. So I bought a bottle of it at Wine & Spirits. Well, lets just say I drank the WHOLE bottle myself. Now I was feeling pretty good at the end of the day. From now on I'm strictly drinking wine. I love how it makes me feel. It makes me feel....good, happy, and...good!!! Not like beer, mixed drinks, or liquor. So, you can say I'm a wine drinker now.

I feel sleepy today and I don't know why.

Which reminds me, I have to end this to pay a bill.

Rude

So, I thought I would post what I was thinking before I lost it.

I joined Facebook. I told myself I wasn't going to because I love Myspace so much but I thought I would try it out anyway. I like it, but I think I like Myspace more. I like to add cool applications and stuff on Facebook though. It's surprising how many people have both Myspace AND Facebook.

I really can't stand when people are rude. When you think your being nice by insulting, controlling, or just making someone feel like shit is not helping. Helping is like picking someone up when they fall, or wiping their ass if they can't reach. That's helping someone. Not coming out and saying don't eat that or you'll get fat kind of thing. It's rude and it hurts people's feelings. Then they grow to not want to be around you or have conversations with you.

I have been doing nothing but drinking a TON of water. It's so tasty.

Am I spiritual??

So I've been cleaning all day and periodically I would take a break. Well, this is one of those times and I thought I would post a little before I start back up again.

So, last night I went to a sushi bar. It was absolutely delicious. Eel is by far and I will say this over and over my favorite.

So between Christopher and his friends there has been a lot of talk about this planet X that is supposed to come and change the world. I'm not sure yet which side I'm on yet all I know is I really want to learn more about my spirituality side. I want to see life at a whole different perspective and try and find out what it's all about and what it means. I've been told that taking mushrooms will help me with that. So is it something in my future??? As of now probably not. But I'm not ruling it out as a possibility.

I feel like spiders are trying to test me. Or something is like guiding them to my area, like wherever I am. I saw 3 today when some people don't see any for a long time. I don't hear about anyone else having spiders in their car's while they are driving except me who had 3 within a month. I was doing laundry today and all of a sudden a big black spider was crawling on one of my shirts. I will admit I did jump but I HATE being surprised. And I told him that. So unfortunately for him he drowned in my washer with the rest of my clothes. I don't care. Don't sneak up on me and I won't kill you. Then I saw one on the floor in my basement like an hour later. I was cool, calm, and collected but I just killed him. He looked dead anyway seeing as how he wasn't moving. But what do I know.


I'm told that by doing the right thing and doing what you feel is right will lead you to good things when you die. Which got me thinking. Since we were born there has always been people telling us what is right and wrong without us making the decision for ourself. What if... and this is just a what if, serial killers really ARE doing the right thing. Some people can see evil in others while some are blind to it. Everyone has evil and good. Maybe serial killers are just like that. They see the evil that others can't see. Just like those who see the paranormal and others can't. And we are punishing them because we are acting by what law and people have always told us is right and wrong. I was watching Cold Case the other day and the detectives were asking this serial killer why he killed this girl and he said because she was evil. They didn't buy it of course. But I'm seriously thinking that maybe he really did see something evil inside her.

I think wind is lovely. It's so amazing on my face. It makes me love life.

I've decided that I could probably eat corned beef hash every day for the rest of my life if I had to.

I want to try new foods. Next on my list is Thai and To Fu. I find it fun just like people who play poker find that fun.

Well, I'm running out of things to say. Might go on Myspace for a while and find someone to stalk. Later.

Oh the madness...

So, I'm sitting here bored out of my mind. I cleaned for a long time. Now I sit here and try to decide what I should do next....yup still nothing.

I think all I'm going to do today is stay home and watch movies and read. Since that is the only thing we can afford to do at this point in time. With rent and saving for CA it's hard to go out and spend money like we would like.

We're pretty much selling everything in our house. We need money and we don't need all the shit that we have. We can just buy new when we get there. And most likely we'll have a place to stay anyway. Well, we hope.

Right now I have my iPod on shuffle and it's playing a Christmas song by Billy Gilman.

Well, it's time to contemplate on whether we should go hang out at a friends house or stay home. So I'm done for now.

AHHH

So, last night Christopher had a show. And lets say I had a lot of shots, beer, and a mix drink. I am so sick today. I'm trying to drink soda for the carbonation so I can burp and feel better. Ahhhh *puke* Other than that everything went really good. I had a great time last night.

Tomorrow we FINALLY get to go to the beach, I'm so ready.

Well, have to leave for the in-laws now. I would type more but I'm so weak I can't even type. It's taking me forever to do this.

-Erica the sick Daydreamer

Can't sleep (take two)

So it's 6:11 in the morning and I've been up since 5:30 am. I can't sleep. So I put in a load of laundry waiting for it to get done, browsing the web and thought I would post for a little.

So yesterday I saw the light. I was working innocently at the bank and this bad storm came. It was really windy, raining, thunder, and lightning. Well, the lightning snapped one of the wires in front of the bank in half. I saw it fall and cars were stopping and stuff. THEN, that's not the only thing. It started on FIRE!!! Sparking like crazy. So, I pretty much shit my pants a little thinking this is the last day I'll ever be alive because these buildings are going to blow up. But thank god it started down pouring and put the fire out!!! It was pretty fricken scary let me tell you. So I'm pretty much hoping that the power is still off today at work. Thank you God!

Thanks to this blogging thing I'm getting a lot off my chest. So I don't bottle it up or anything. Some people don't understand how I can talk about my personal life and not care. Well, that's the thing...I don't care. I'm not afraid to tell people how I feel or what I'm thinking in a blog. And don't give me that "You just won't say it to their face, etc" shit. I've heard it and I have one thing to say...STOP acting like you think you know me, because you don't. And stop thinking you know everything, because you don't!!

I can't wait for the beach. I'm ready to tan and just enjoy the sun. I can't wait until I live 15 minutes away from the beach instead of 2 hours. I mean ocean not lake. And according to people here in Pennsylvania it's not a beach unless it's the ocean. So good Fair Haven Beach in New York really isn't a beach this whole time. So someone should sue them for saying BEACH on the front of the sign. Last I knew sand is what made it a beach. But, whatever floats your boat I guess.

I'm getting rid of stuff. For when we move to California we don't have a bunch of shit. We ordered the hitch and wires for the trailer the other night. So we're getting closer and closer every time. I've been looking at apartments just to get excited about the whole thing. It's working.

Well, I better go and attend to my laundry. Maybe clean a little bit. So I will see you readers/non-readers later.


-Erica the Daydreamer

Why?

Ok, I never understood why people have to repeatedly say that they are cool and awesome. I knew a girl back home in New York who every time I was around her would mention how cool or awesome she was. I'm sorry, smart OK, but cool? Not really. Either her friends would think she was cool but everyone else really hated her. Because a majority of the time she was a bitch. Tell me what I did was wrong but didn't realize she did the same thing only a million times more. I really feel like spilling my guts about people I knew and just didn't have the guts to say anything to their face. Pussy? Not so much. But I'm not one to lower myself to tell someone how much they suck, because most likely at that point I did too.

People change. I'm changing. I'm starting to realize more than anything. I think back and I say "Why did I do that"? I guess I really don't have an answer because at the time I knew what I was doing and why I wanted to do it.

I'm really starting to get sick and tired of people saying other people are fake. I really want to say "And you never are?" It like makes me twitch when I hear it because everyone is fake about something.

I'm just so full of questions I could keep asking and never finish.

Not enough people love themselves. It's actually really sad.

I wish I was more creative to write a story. About all the things that annoy me. Then I won't have to think of them anymore, because once I bitch and vent it's gone. And I never worry about it again.

I really don't care if people have a problem with some of the things I do.

I don't even have to turn on my iPod. A house a crossed the street has their music blaring because they are having a party. So right now I can hear Journey from all a crossed the street. We live in a main drag too. Not that I will complain because Journey is a favorite of mine.

I'm actually sitting here thinking of things to talk about because my head is so full I need to release some things.

It bothers me when people don't have manners or have a personality. Coming off as a cold heart bitch doesn't get you anywhere, sorry.

Isn't it weird how when your reading a book and the author mentions exactly what people are truly feeling and you raise your head and say "Wow, that's really true". And you never even knew it. I want to be like that.

I think I'm going to go on 43 Things and add to the list of things to do. Keep me occupied until Christopher comes home.


-Erica the Daydreamer

Can't Sleep

So, I woke up early because I can't sleep. Right now I'm in the process of trying to find another song for my myspace. I am totally in love with music. It is the greatest thing ever. For some reason I've been like obsessed with Miranda Lambert lately.

So, I know I'm going to be stuck and not know what to write. I feel like I have writers block. Blah!

I'm getting more and more excited about moving to CA. I'm officially ready. Before I was a little hesitant as many know. But finally I'm OK with things and I'm ready. I'm ready to go out and explore. See what kind of person emerges when I'm there. I love every experience I've been given and I thank God everyday for bringing me to the place where I am today. Not to mention I am totally in love. Which makes things even more special. I am one of those people who will say I WAS the one who thought I didn't need to go to different places or do different things because everything I was doing was fine. I was wrong. I love the experiences and I want more of them. I want to concur some of my fears or things I told myself I wouldn't do because of those fears. I've never lived on the edge and I'm willing to do that now.

I really HATE being drunk. I'm not a drinking person. I totally love the sober life.

Well, I should clean before I hop in the shower. I'll write more later.


-Erica the Daydreamer

Sad

So, my family left this morning and I am almost on my way out the door to go back to work. For some reason I am really sad. Like about everything. I think considering they left and I have to go back to work is what is doing it. That and I totally forgot that I am going out to dinner with the people at work tonight. I want to, but a part of me doesn't. I just want to spend time with Christopher. I know I have my whole life but I was really looking forward to it. Oh well, I'll get over it I'm sure.

I still have about 20 minutes until I have to leave. This long weekend was so much fun. We did so much and I loved it. I'm excited for the beach. I got a new bathing suit. Which is about time because I haven't had a new one in like 10 years it feels like.

Right now is a weird feeling. One part of my body is telling me to stay and write everything on my mind but the other part is telling me to go. So....I guess I'm going to go and do my hair for work sense I can't really think clearly right now.


-Erica the Daydreamer

Good Bye

So, today is the last day of vacation for me until another couple weeks. My family leaves tomorrow. I can't believe how fast time flies. But I had a great time. Next one Christopher and I go to Long Beach Island, New Jersey for a few days. I love it there. It's so nice. I need to get somewhat of a tan.

I'm ready but not ready to start working again. Well, go back to work.

Ok, this is a small one because I have to get ready so I will post when I have all the time in the world.



-Erica the Daydreamer

Pissed!!

I'm so pissed right now all I can do is cry. I can't get this thing to work and I'm so frustrated!!!!!!



-Erica The Daydreamer

You called?

So, I'm sitting here waiting to go to work in a few and thought I would post a quick one.  Thumper is being so bad lately and I don't know why.  He goes through these spurts where he will be so good for so long and then all of a sudden he notices he's getting yelled at ONCE and then all hell breaks loose.  One thing I do know, he is the most spoiled cat I've EVER seen and needs to be in time out!!

My vacation is FINALLY here.  I'm so excited.  We planned on going to Hershey Park but that fell threw so we are just going to go shopping instead.  Which is fine with me.  

There is always something going on back at home and it makes me thankful I'm not there.  I just miss people.

I hate when I can't find anything to wear.  Drives me CRAZY.  

ALL of my credit cards are paid off but 1.  And that one is my main concern.  I will be paying like $300 on it a month until it's down to 0.  Then it's my car.  Then it's major saving AND then.....drum roll.....CALIFORNIA!!!!!!  

Well, I better get my butt rolling.  Thank God for 3.5 hours on Saturdays.  

-Erica the Daydreamer

Thank you Jesus!!

I am pretty sure that Jesus is on my side.  I love it, I'm thankful, and he is nothing but the best.

I'm really starting to think that working with customers and money is not right for me.  They either make me want to punch people or give me a heart-attack.  Either way I don't want it.

So, I need a little adventure in my life.  So I decided to do this Lock Up thing where I try and raise money for MS.  Which they handcuff me and I sit at this resturant for about an hour until I raise enough money to bail me out. Which goes towards MS.  Which I think is a good cause.

Well, since my life is so exciting I'm going to go read.  Maybe more later. 

I really feel like going to a diner.  I totally heart diner's!

-Erica the Daydreamer

Cereal

I'm convinced cereal is the best thing ever.  

I'd like to think that my life is interesting enough that I can post just about anything on here about my life and have people read it because they are so intrigued. Then I realize I'm just lying to myself. All I do is wake up, go to work, come home, get on the internet, and read.  That's what my days have consisted of.  I'm trying to work on a few things in my life right now.  I'm trying not to get so overly stressed about everything because in the long run it's not really worth it.  I would also like to watch what I say to people.  I'm normally a pretty open person but I tend to regret saying some of the things I do because then I realize what I said just went against what I did.

I'm convinced that everything is mental.  My fears, my moods, my pain, everything.  I've told myself that other people aren't afraid of spiders so why am I?  I joined this website called 43 Things.  It's pretty neat.  I make a list of 43 things that I would like to do.  Right now I only have 20.  But I'm working on it.  One of them is getting over my fear of spiders.  I don't want to be scared.  I don't want to constantly have to look around or shake and cry and freak out when I see one.  It's annoying and I hate it.  I keep telling myself who cares if they bite me.  I have a pretty good immune system that I'm pretty sure I could handle it.  And I can guarantee I've already been bite in my sleep or when I wasn't looking.  I have a stronger chance of getting in to a car crash than dying from a spider bite.  There look scares the daylights out of me.  They aren't attractive at all.  I don't like how slow tarantulas walk either.  I mean seriously, I hate being surprised.  I'm not a surprised person.  Knock on the door before you come barging in.  Spiders sometimes have no manners and feel they can appear wherever or on ANYTHING they want.  So, that is the big thing I am working on.  I was going to get a tarantula tattoo on my foot so I get used to them.  I am getting better so I can't complain to much.

I've realized that I am totally changing as a person.  Who I was when I lived in NY is totally different than the way I am now.  In many ways.  I'd like to think It's for the better.  But you know how people get when someone changes than what they're used to.  Then they get all upset because you aren't who they want you to be.  

I waited on this girl today and her drivers license was from Hawaii.  I wanted to ask her why she would pick to move to good ol' Pennsylvania instead of Honolulu, Hawaii.  But I didn't.  That's like when I tell people I'm from NY and they say "Why would you want to move here"?  Then I reassure them I'm from upstate and I get a "Ohhhhhhhhh".  It's pretty interesting.  Sometimes people forget there is actually a state of New York and not just the city.  I'm guessing they might have flunked their geography class in high school.  

Well, I think I'm going to take a rest and go read or figure out how to improve my awesome blogger.  So I will update some more later.

-Erica the Daydreamer

The Beginning

So, I created this blog for many reasons.  I'm using this to express my thoughts and feelings that I haven't expressed to other people.  Things that have been going through my head for many years or just a matter of days.  I'm using this to tell stories about people I know. Or simply to just vent about things that might be bothering me.  

Certain books I'm reading that I think should be talked about I will mention. 

Some general information about me:

I love to daydream

There is more to me than the eye can see

I'm not who a lot of people think I am

Things I used to think were true have changed

I'm quiet when I'm around people I don't know

I hold things in when I feel need be

I'm very unique in my own way

I love who I am

I don't lie to myself about my feelings, sometimes it just takes a while to figure them out

Ok, well I am leaving now because I need to go to Guitar Center with my boyfriend before he destroys his vocal cords.  Daydream always. 

-Erica the Daydreamer